Being alone is as being a stranded wanderer in an uncharted land. You walk as if you have nobody to talk to but yourself. Even if you walk amongst people, they are nothing to you but ghosts or shadows. You have the desire to talk to someone, but you don’t know who. You feel ostracized from the world, from the reality that surrounds you. And if you speak to others, they don’t understand the things you are saying of or how you feel. You feel as if there is no person equal to you who might understands you. But this in the end is what keeps you moving on. To find that person that might understand you. That will share your struggles. That will help you in times of need, and you know that you would do the same if they were in need. And to always have each other’s backs. But you still walk a long path alone. A path of solitude and despair. You’re often viewed as a hologram or a mirage, someone who is often left out or alienated. But you still wait for that person, that will come out and bring you out from the depths of the void. And to show you that you weren’t the only one stuck in that desolate barren unreality that you were in before you encountered each other.
I’ll tell you a story of a boy who had friends, but realized in the end that he was all alone with no one to talk to but himself. This story is about a special form of being alone.
This is a story of a boy named Abel who was fairly recognized and made many friends.
As a kid, Abel was very sociable and liked to have fun with his friends. He played a lot with them and enjoyed every moment out of it. But as he got older, the friends he once had started to diminish and walk away. The new friends he made were only friends who had an interest on a similar topic, like a video game. But as this interest diminished his friendships started to part away. The friends he once knew and had, that he walked amongst, are now just strangers. But till this day, he still makes more friends to talk to. These new friends are friends that he can talk to but only at a specific place and specific topic. And this situation repeats itself over and over again. It was some time in high school when he finally realized it. He finally understood that he really was alone. Alone with no one to talk to, repeating the same mundane things over and over. Everyday he goes to talk to his group of friends, always stuck on the same topic. And when he tries to just talk to a friend, the topic dries out sooner or later, leaving them with nothing to talk about. This friend that he talks to, sooner or later leaves him to follow the rest of the group or go to another set of friends. Every time the group leaves, he still lies standing alone deciding whether or not to follow this mundane group of people, wondering when he’ll find a friend that thinks of him as a priority instead of an option. And at the same time, he wonders when he’ll find a true friend that he can really open up to. He soon finds himself walking alone with no one to talk to. Everyone is just a blur with no life inside of them. Even his family is the same, they don’t understand what he thinks or goes through. And the cycle repeats and repeats and he starts to get tired and sad of these cycles. Whenever he goes to class, kids view Abel as the kid who’s always sad. Even at some times, people ask him why he’s sad, but he always just dismisses the question saying he isn’t, but he really is. It still remains obvious that he still is sad, but nobody ever tries to pursue it and figure out the reason why. It’s like they care for him for just a moment, but then it wears away in a few seconds. He figures that even if he disappears, nobody would even be able to describe him or how he felt in a detailed manner. They only could just describe him in a few pitiful words, like
“He was a good kid.”
Nobody really knew Abel. Nobody really understood him. He then started to question his existence, asking himself if he was even breathing or even alive, or if he was just a spirit …
Abel – breathing spirit
This picture with a crowd of people and just a person in the center, depicts exactly how Abel feels. He is like a person walking among a multitude of other human beings that seem like nothing, but inanimate objects. Like shadows. An endless flow of shadows, among whom nobody stands out. None of them able or willing to rescue him from the pit of loneliness in which he resides. And in the end, it makes him feel as if he just might not be a person worth saving …